Coming of age is challenging…

I started Posse Vygotsky to help gifted individuals increase their capacity to adapt to changing life situations. I believe gifted people will experience smoother life stage transitions with good coaching.

There are many tasks a Gifted Emerging Adult must master to become an adult. For some they are unable to meet these demands without help. But who is equipped to help? College counseling centers are often overwhelmed and parents are not always available or in some cases are part of the problem. Sometimes a GEA leaves for college unprepared for independent living and having no financial management skills. Most schools lack the resources to teach these skills.

There are many things a GEA must do to adapt to new situations, people, and demands. The two most important are: Acquire an adult identity and establish financial and emotional independence in order to fully develop their gifts into talents that society values.

Emerging adulthood is a life stage with an elastic time period. While there is no universally agreed-upon age range, the period of life in question ranges from 18-31. During this period a person experiences major changes. Research shows a person leaves home, acquires an adult identity and often experiences many changes in where and with whom they live. Many feel ‘in-between’, that is, not a kid anymore-high school is disappearing in the rearview mirror yet full adulthood is still off in the distance. While this time period is intensely self-focused, it is also a time of tremendous energy and possibility. And a person also sharpens their executive functions to make better long term decisions. It’s a lot to navigate.

In these years a person may also have an existential crisis called the quarter-life crisis. This can be an acute period of existential distress. I’ve studied coming of age as a gifted person for many years and the evidence suggests this crisis may have a greater impact on high ability people; those who just a few years earlier were our gifted children. As emerging adults they must construct their lives, but who and what is there to guide them?

Our grown up kids now share the same concerns we do as adults. Our relationships must be negotiated from parent-child to adult-adult. Doing so is good for everyone. My job as a life coach is to help a gifted emerging adult, a GEA, to see a bigger picture in which they are autonomous, aware, and actively constructing the lives they want. I often begin a conference presentation by asking if anyone has a 20-something living in their basement. That question often results in a lot of hands going up with questions as to what they can do to help their gifted 22 year old get going in life. That’s what I do. Welcome.